So I am not even sure where to start this, so I'll just get into it.
I lived in Annapolis for a while a few years ago and one of the jobs I had was waiting tables. I was easily the oldest of the crew at the Chevy's on Riva Road with most of them being in college, or just getting ready to go. I was 28, and always eager to make friends and impart knowledge and life lessons. (read drink and talk a lot of shit.)
So after work, a bunch of us made it down to what is undeniably the pinnacle of restaurant chainage- TGIFriday's. As the night wore on, and people filled their bellies with red headed sluts and Miller Lite, things started to get, let's say, animated. There was some good natured wrestling and I took out a pen and even drew cocks on one of my coworker's faces.
ImageIgloo.com
Needless to say, we were having a good time.
I had just lit up probably my sixth heater when it happened. I gambled and lost. My face fell. I had just fucking shit my pants. So even though I had just peed, I worked my way out of the corner and headed to the bathroom. In the stall I marveled at my own recklessness. How could I have been so dumb? I slipped off my shoes and then gingerly pulled my soiled off boxers with my thumb and forefinger. I cleaned up and dumped the evidence in the hole in the middle of the counter between the sinks.
I looked back and saw them peeking out and waving good bye as I exited. Now I am not one to often go without boxers. It stinks of desperation, porno, and filth. Not that I usually have a problem with any one of those, but it's like driving without my seatbelt on. Just not used to it, nor am I totally comfortable. I'd better drink more and forget my woes.
I got back on the ball and ordered more shots and settled back in. I had been cozying up to Nicki, a cute blonde girl that was going to be attending U of Maryland in the fall, so when the idea of an afterparty was brought up, I offered to give her a ride. Somewhere on the five mile drive to the after party, all the booze started to catch up with me. I was pretty drunk. *I no longer drive shitty btw*
We were getting close to the party and for some reason we pulled off in the neighborhood before we got there. I dont know why, but whatever the reason, we started to make out in the car. I was so drunk by now that I had to keep one eye open while I was kissing her so that I wouldnt spin. It's a hot look, I suggest you try it. At some point she says "do you want to fuck me?" My mind is totally alert now! Somehow what I was thinking didnt really make it to my mouth right. "I want you inside me," I blurted out. "Wait, what? No, I uhhh, you know..."
I dont remember much else of that night except that I woke up on my friend's couch. Moral of the story: Your mom is right. Always wear clean underpants.
I think I left my brain in mine at Fridays.
I lived in Annapolis for a while a few years ago and one of the jobs I had was waiting tables. I was easily the oldest of the crew at the Chevy's on Riva Road with most of them being in college, or just getting ready to go. I was 28, and always eager to make friends and impart knowledge and life lessons. (read drink and talk a lot of shit.)
So after work, a bunch of us made it down to what is undeniably the pinnacle of restaurant chainage- TGIFriday's. As the night wore on, and people filled their bellies with red headed sluts and Miller Lite, things started to get, let's say, animated. There was some good natured wrestling and I took out a pen and even drew cocks on one of my coworker's faces.
ImageIgloo.com
Needless to say, we were having a good time.
I had just lit up probably my sixth heater when it happened. I gambled and lost. My face fell. I had just fucking shit my pants. So even though I had just peed, I worked my way out of the corner and headed to the bathroom. In the stall I marveled at my own recklessness. How could I have been so dumb? I slipped off my shoes and then gingerly pulled my soiled off boxers with my thumb and forefinger. I cleaned up and dumped the evidence in the hole in the middle of the counter between the sinks.
I looked back and saw them peeking out and waving good bye as I exited. Now I am not one to often go without boxers. It stinks of desperation, porno, and filth. Not that I usually have a problem with any one of those, but it's like driving without my seatbelt on. Just not used to it, nor am I totally comfortable. I'd better drink more and forget my woes.
I got back on the ball and ordered more shots and settled back in. I had been cozying up to Nicki, a cute blonde girl that was going to be attending U of Maryland in the fall, so when the idea of an afterparty was brought up, I offered to give her a ride. Somewhere on the five mile drive to the after party, all the booze started to catch up with me. I was pretty drunk. *I no longer drive shitty btw*
We were getting close to the party and for some reason we pulled off in the neighborhood before we got there. I dont know why, but whatever the reason, we started to make out in the car. I was so drunk by now that I had to keep one eye open while I was kissing her so that I wouldnt spin. It's a hot look, I suggest you try it. At some point she says "do you want to fuck me?" My mind is totally alert now! Somehow what I was thinking didnt really make it to my mouth right. "I want you inside me," I blurted out. "Wait, what? No, I uhhh, you know..."
I dont remember much else of that night except that I woke up on my friend's couch. Moral of the story: Your mom is right. Always wear clean underpants.
I think I left my brain in mine at Fridays.
posted by Old Overholt at 12:33 PM
4 Comments:
That photo, man. That's the closer right there. *making the kissing fingers "mwah!" gesture that fat red shit makes on the top of pizza boxes*
Seriously, what the fuck is that move called?
I think it's called "Sexually Harassing Women."
I eatah yo pussa! mwah! perfecto!
100% true.
I just noticed that the drawing of the penis looks like a Klingon war ship. Star Trek, what!?
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