Here’s a story that I have never told anyone. Not for any real reason, I just never told anyone about it.
When you felt sick as a kid at good ol’ Forsyth Country Day School, like anywhere you went to the nurse. If they felt that yes, something was wrong, they let you lie down on this cot and take a nap. Where the cot was located was sort of like a cut out in the wall. There was just enough space for the cot to fit in there. At either end of the cot on the wall there was a sort of big plastic blind. You could pull it together and latch it for a bit more privacy and darkness. The only other thing in there other than the cot was a pillow and a ladder that presumably went to the roof.

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After lying there for a minute feeling sick, but not really tired, I pulled the blinds closed so I wouldn’t be bothered by the teachers grabbing their lunches from the fridge near by. I lay there for a few minutes with the ladder taunting me.

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What’s up here? Can you see into the girl’s bathroom? I mustered some courage, knowing that the last thing I should be doing is climbing around inside the ceiling of the school. I made it just about four rungs up so that my head was just over the ceiling panels. I looked around at the ducts and vents and decided that it just wasn’t that exciting so I went back down. What my little adventure had done was make me realize that I now really had to pee.

I pushed the button on the blind to open them back up so I could go to the bathroom. Nothing. The button didn’t work. I was trapped! I tugged at the blind, hoping that I was going to be able to get it to pop open. No chance. This fucker was on lock down. There was just enough space between the blind and the floor, that I would be able to get through on my belly. I got down on my knees and stuck my head under the blind. I soon realized that I was wrong. I had just gotten enough of my head through that there was no turning back. And now I was stuck. By my head.

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I tried to back myself out, but one of my ears was keeping that from happening. I had no choice. I yelled for help and waited for help to arrive. After a few minutes a teacher came in, saw a child’s head stuck on the floor and tried to help me open the blinds. I don’t know how she didn’t just burst out in laughter. Maybe they teach you that before you start working. Over the next ten minutes, I talked to a teacher, whose face I couldn’t see as she informed me that they were going to have to get maintenance to come take care of me. Moments later with power drill in hand, Bill came and unscrewed the blinds from the wall. I said thanks and ran to the bathroom to pee. I went back to glass with a bright red ear and decided that I would keep this to myself.