Waiting To Be A Millionaire

It’s early and it’s my third line of the day. Inside somewhere, Regis and Kelly are awarding a prize for best costume. But I’m dressed as me and I’m here for money. About twenty five grand. Enough to get me out of debt.

I’ve been reading Wikipedia at random and even glanced through the Old Testament just to prepare. According to Ken, who is O for 10, the test is thirty questions and, though they won’t tell you, you have to get 100%. Those are easy. But I’m already stumped.

“What’s the one thing you do that is funny?”

I am funny. Always. But not Meredith Viera’s stupid human trick funny. I prefer clever. Oscar Wilde or Noel Coward clever. English Homosexual clever.

I could do my one word Walken impression, but I can already hear my wife’s tired sigh.

I send out a text. Nick answers promptly. “Nothing. You Answer is Nothing:” The non answer as answer.

My brother’s more curious. “What do you need this for?” Why am I here and not spooning my cat watching ESPN2 for the third hour in and out of sleep? Money. Lots of it. Damn. “Crotch shots and water skiing accidents.” That’s his answer. I sigh.

As I get to the metal detector, about to go inside. I get it over with. I need to concentrate on real knowledge and who will be my phone-a-friends. Not my brother. And I write it down: Water skiing. I am really bad at it. Pain’s funny. Not Wilde funny, but Meredith funny.

Production Blog For Untitled J.Robert Tierney Project (as it would be referred to on IMDB someday): 11/19/2007

I have a date.
And some places.
And 3 scripts.
And a Joaquin.

On Dec. 8th and 9th, I'll be taking my first journey ("journey" what is this "theater") into making my own TV show which will be posted on the 'net and then the world. I just started casting and so I cast myself which is good because I know I can trust myself to be there. And only just barely. And the lead is an asshole which I can relate to. The Great Carmelo is my Joaquin so I'm really almost there. All I need is a Steve. Isn't that always the case?

Directing, D.O.Ping, and possibly Drashing will be accomplished juggler Myles Kane.

And a giant Panda head. And that's all I need. (seriously I need a panda head any ideas?)